A relationship expert has shared seven questions which can help you better handle conflict with your partner—and potentially save ailing romantic partnerships and marriages.

The questions form what Dr Kathy Nickerson refers to as a relationship 'audit', which gives both parties the opportunity to discuss finances, intimacy, stress, aspirations, health, family boundaries and shared goals. 

According to Dr Nickerson, if couples were encouraged to openly discuss these pillars of connection regularly, it would prevent countless break ups. 

'Asking these questions once a year keeps couples aligned, supported and moving in the same direction,' she said. 

'When you make it a habit, it becomes easier each time. 

'You talk before distance grows, before resentment builds, and before hurt turns into disconnection. Checking in doesn't just maintain a relationship, it strengthens it.' 

Ministry of Justice data shows divorce application rates are highest in the first three months of the year, spiking after the stress of the Christmas period when conflicts arise, and differences become ever more apparent.

Dr Nickerson added that when couples avoid these crucial, yet sometimes difficult conversations due to fear of conflict, they risk drifting apart for good. 

'Over time, silence can become anger, hurt and emotional distance - the very foundations of separation.' 

Perhaps reassuringly, Dr Nickerson says breakdowns in communication are common, as life gets in the way and our partner's needs take the back seat, and any redeeming features get taken for granted. 

But she also point out that - as with most psychological matters - how you resolve conflict can dramatically increase the chances of both parties feeling 'understood, supported, and loved,' and the relationship thriving. 

And whilst many are hard-wired to perceive partners asserting their needs as an attack - deeply rooted in how they brought up- and others would simply rather forgive and forget, Dr Nickerson says communication is key.

Accordingly, couples shouldn't shy away from discussing their finances, and the impact any future plans may have on this. 

'Resentment around finances can be corrosive and unspoken frustration often grows into contempt,' Dr Nickerson explains. 

For this to be an open, honest and ultimately fruitful conversation, couples should discuss what their plan is if money becomes tight and how much they need to feel secure and not anxious about finances day-to-day. 

Another connection point couples should set aside time to consider together is intimacy - both in terms of physical and emotional closeness. 

When this topic is avoided, in the interest of maintaining a conflict-free relationship, couples also avoid real emotional intimacy, ultimately resulting in detachment. 

Instead, the therapist suggests checking in with your partner to make sure both of your needs are being met and where improvements can be made. 

Thirdly, Dr Nickerson says stress cannot be avoided. 

Most couples will return home within an hour of each other after a stressful day at the office or a mind-numbing work from home stint when emotions are running high. 

By this time, our mental resources are depleted and we are more easily triggered by little things that in the moment seem like the end of the world. 

But rather than taking it out on your partner, Dr Nickerson suggests taking a step back and consider what would make you both feel calmer, 

She said: 'Ask each other on a scale of one to ten how stressed you've been.' 

This can help manage expectations, and highlight when one of you may need to take on a bit more to lessen the other's load. 

Fourth and fifth on the list is discussing dreams, goals and aspirations - which can help build connection and meaning - and a health check in. 

'Dreams may be the most energising conversation; they keep relationships forward-moving, exciting and full of hope. 

'But also ask each other: How have you been caring for your mind and body? What do you crave more of?', she says. 

Whether this is sleep, exercise, or a better work life balance, this can help you work towards a better routine together, and let your partner know where your personal priorities lie. 

Closely linked to this is reevaluating where your personal boundaries are, a discussion that too often is neglected, Dr Nickerson says. 

No matter how invested you are in the relationship, Dr Nickerson says its still ok, imperative even, to have personal boundaries. 

 For example, if one of you has said you are not ready to discuss having children yet, but the other keeps on pushing, this could cause resentment and exhaustion. 

'Everyone needs to feel safe, respected and prioritised,' Dr Nickerson says, and the only way to do this is have open conversations about how you're feeling.

Finally, and most importantly, Dr Nickerson says you should come up with a shared goal for the year ahead, which you can work towards together. 

She said: 'When couples succeed together, connection deepens. You become teammates working towards the same finish line.' 

And whilst this 'audit' isn't guaranteed to save your relationship, she says 'anything that protects safety - emotional, physical or financial - is foundational.

'Without safety, openness is impossible.

'Through these conversations you can create the relationship you want 0 you just need to be intentional about it,' she added. 

'Your partner can't read your mind. Communication is how love stays alive. Share openly, listen generously, validate feelings and reassure each other often.

'Strong relationships aren't built in grand gestures - they're built in the conversations we are brave enough to have.'