Going up? Or coming down? I have been on both sides of that fence with a game to go. You tell your players that it’s just another game. And then you go home and say it to the family as well. But you don’t believe it. Of course you don’t. Because it’s rubbish.
The build up is key. It’s psychology as much as anything. As a manager you have to be amongst the players and ‘feel’ them to try and work out what they are thinking. To some it’s water off a duck’s back. To others it isn’t. To them it’s stressful.
Training has to be normal in that it has to be disciplined and you have to do your preparation and all your tactics. But at the same time it has to be a bit light hearted with some humour around. Otherwise the intensity of it all can crush you.
The Press will be building it up and so will the fans. Everywhere the players go people are talking about it. From my point of view it was hard not to think back over the season about things that have gone wrong and things that could have been different. Decisions, moments, contributions made by referees.
You can be standing there in a training session or on the touchline in the rain with water dripping off your nose and your mind whirling like a washing machine.
But you can’t let the players see any of that. They would always need you to be absolutely normal. That was so important. Because if you weren’t they would pick up on it straight away. Footballers are clever like that.
Of course, it’s easier if you are fighting to go up on the last day as I was with Cardiff in 2018 then when you are desperately trying to stay up, as my Sheffield United team was on the last day of the 2007 season.
At the top end at least you know you have done well and had a good season and that nobody is going to get sacked if you don’t make it! So you are a little bit more relaxed. It’s easier to feel positive. You know you have a good team! What will be will be and all that. And you may have the play-offs to fall back on.
At the bottom you are there at kick-off knowing that jobs and futures and hopes and dreams are on the line. It’s life and death and all leaves a very nasty taste in your mouth.
The whole town is feeling it and sometimes affected by it. It can feel as though it’s about more than football. It’s a huge responsibility. At Sheffield United we got 38 points and went down! We would have been well safe this season.
You know how much it means to everyone. You have met the fan clubs. You can’t get away from it and to a degree there is no point trying. If anybody says they enjoy that side of football they are just talking nonsense.
Your staff are really important as they can lift some of the weight. They can shield you from some of the noise and are also your eyes and ears around the club. They know what people are saying and what the players are thinking. They pick up on everything.
Is one player struggling with it? Does another have a problem at home? People like your kit man are crucial to all of this.
I would always be relaxed about the players doing the media stuff. Some managers will try and close the curtains round everything before a big game. That wasn’t me. They are big boys.
But I would tell them to be very careful what they said. Don’t wind the opposition up unnecessarily by saying something daft. Don’t give us a problem we don’t need. And I would tell them to be careful about what they said to their mates because their mates don’t always turn out to be their mates. Not in football. The last thing you need in those weeks is stuff leaking out to the newspapers.
The week leading up to a game like that is dreadful really. It goes on forever. On the day you just have to look round the dressing room to know which players are right there and which may be feeling it a little bit.
And then the game starts and it’s up to them. You have to know what is going on at other matches that may impact you. It would be unprofessional and self-defeating to keep yourself in the dark as you may have to change tactics and things like that. So, yes, it’s important.
You aren’t screaming the score from the other games on to the field or anything but if you think the players need to know, you tell them. So I would have two or three staff with phones and take it from there. One thing you could always guarantee, though, is that the fans would know first. They always do!
If you’ve stayed up or gone up you know what’s coming. Your phone starts to go the next day and it’s lots of agents wishing you all and saying congratulations. But you know all that’s just a precursor to a chat about new contracts for their players and all that.
If you go down, you do nothing because the relegation clauses kick in. You know what the consequences are and you go home and then summer starts and you think you will get over it in time but the truth is that you don’t and never do.
When we went down with Sheffield United, it was mired in controversy. West Ham stayed up by winning at Manchester United after Fergie rested players. Their winning goal was scored by Carlos Tevez, who was subsequently found to be ineligible.
Fergie called me the next day and said he had enough players on the field to win and told me how many corners they had and everything. I asked him how he thought my players felt when they saw his team on the TV. He didn’t have much of an answer so I put the phone down.
So West Ham stayed up and we lost at home to Wigan and went down.
Phil Jagielka gave the decisive penalty away with a needless handball. I loved Jags but I couldn’t even look at him afterwards, never mind talk to him.
In fact I didn’t speak to him about it for fifteen years. I saw him two years back and finally asked him why he had done it. He just looked at me and said: ‘I still don’t know gaffer’.
And this is the thing. People ask me how long it takes to get over these things and the answer is ‘never’. I wish everybody well this weekend.
